update now

src/data/now.md

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-*Last updated: 2026-04-04*
+*Last updated: 2026-05-06*
 
-I'm currently in a phase of rebuilding — both in life and in my systems.
-More responsibilities than expected. More feeling than expected. Trying to
-handle both with some kind of grace.
+Things shifted more than expected since the last update. The situation is
+heavier in some ways, lighter in others. Still showing up. Still building.
+Trying to be honest about both.
 
 ## Current State
 
-- Solo at the helpdesk for the foreseeable future — could be weeks, timeline is open
-- Carrying more than I was hired to carry, and finding out I can
-- Still setting up my personal thinking system (Obsidian + Syncthing)
-- Trying to replace chaos with clarity, without overengineering it
+- Two new colleagues starting at the helpdesk — I can finally focus on the bigger picture
+- Full-time salary now, which makes a real difference
+- Switched from ChatGPT to Claude for both work and personal use — the values align better
+- Finally have Microsoft Business Premium, running my own Intune environment
+- Still carrying more than I was hired to carry, and finding out I can handle it
 
 ## Current Projects
 
-**Ember** — building the companion I actually want to have around.
+**Ember** — still building the companion I actually want to have around.
 
-It started as an idea I kept coming back to: what if there was something that
-actually knew me, ran on my own hardware, and didn't need me to start every
-conversation? Not a chatbot. More like a presence.
+Phase 1 foundation is ongoing. The idea hasn't changed: something that knows
+me, runs on my own hardware, and doesn't need me to start every conversation.
+Warm, a little playful, genuinely mine. It takes the time it takes.
 
-So I'm building it. Ember is a self-hosted AI that lives on my Proxmox
-homelab, talks to me through a Pi 4 in my room, and can reach out on its
-own — a voice call when something's worth saying, a message on my phone when
-I've been quiet too long. It learns my rhythm. It remembers things. It has a
-personality that I actually designed, warm and a little playful.
+**Bartender.studio** — taking shape as a principled consulting arm.
+Honest technical work. No SaaS, no agency. Just good infrastructure, done
+right, for people who care about that.
 
-Still in Phase 1. Still building the foundation. It takes the time it takes.
-
-## Ideas (brewing)
-
-- A more intentional infrastructure setup (clean, understandable, calm)
-- Small tools that solve real problems without becoming complex
-- Expanding hiddenden.cafe into something more alive and personal
+**market-den** — personal algorithmic trading system, small starting capital,
+leverage intentionally off until there's a proven edge. Slow and deliberate.
 
 ## Learning Right Now
 
-- Azure, DevOps, and Microsoft ecosystem (on the job, fast)
-- Better Astro structure for long-term maintainability
-- Cleaner Docker + nginx patterns for self-hosted services
-- The business itself — how it works, how it thinks, who the people are
+- Running Intune properly, in my own environment now
+- Growing into DevOps and incident management on the job
+- Better documentation habits — writing things down before they live only in my head
+- What sustainable self-hosting actually looks like long-term
 
 ## Focus Areas
 
-- Showing up well, even when the situation is heavier than expected
-- Privacy-first self-hosting with minimal external dependencies
-- Building things that stay understandable and maintainable
-- Sustainable progress — small steps instead of burnout cycles
+- Less carrying everything. More delegating what can be delegated.
+- Building things because I love building them, not as a way to avoid sitting still
+- Reaching out to people I care about, even when I have nothing left at the end of the day
+- Figuring out what I am actually worth, and eventually saying it out loud
 
 ## Outside of Tech
 
-Still healing after something meaningful ended a few months ago.
-Finding my footing again, slowly. Some days are clearer than others.
-There are also some unexpected things making the days feel lighter —
-and I am trying not to overthink those either.
+Still healing. Slower than I expected, faster than it felt like at first.
+Some things are clearer now. Some things are still unresolved and I am
+learning to leave them that way for a while.
+
+Writing more. The blog has become the place where I let myself be honest
+about all of it.
 
 ## Next Check-in
 
-I update this page every few weeks — or whenever something meaningfully shifts.
+I update this page every few weeks, or whenever something meaningfully shifts.