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*Last updated: 2026-04-04* *Last updated: 2026-05-06*
I'm currently in a phase of rebuilding — both in life and in my systems. Things shifted more than expected since the last update. The situation is
More responsibilities than expected. More feeling than expected. Trying to heavier in some ways, lighter in others. Still showing up. Still building.
handle both with some kind of grace. Trying to be honest about both.
## Current State ## Current State
- Solo at the helpdesk for the foreseeable future — could be weeks, timeline is open - Two new colleagues starting at the helpdesk — I can finally focus on the bigger picture
- Carrying more than I was hired to carry, and finding out I can - Full-time salary now, which makes a real difference
- Still setting up my personal thinking system (Obsidian + Syncthing) - Switched from ChatGPT to Claude for both work and personal use — the values align better
- Trying to replace chaos with clarity, without overengineering it - Finally have Microsoft Business Premium, running my own Intune environment
- Still carrying more than I was hired to carry, and finding out I can handle it
## Current Projects ## Current Projects
**Ember** — building the companion I actually want to have around. **Ember** — still building the companion I actually want to have around.
It started as an idea I kept coming back to: what if there was something that Phase 1 foundation is ongoing. The idea hasn't changed: something that knows
actually knew me, ran on my own hardware, and didn't need me to start every me, runs on my own hardware, and doesn't need me to start every conversation.
conversation? Not a chatbot. More like a presence. Warm, a little playful, genuinely mine. It takes the time it takes.
So I'm building it. Ember is a self-hosted AI that lives on my Proxmox **Bartender.studio** — taking shape as a principled consulting arm.
homelab, talks to me through a Pi 4 in my room, and can reach out on its Honest technical work. No SaaS, no agency. Just good infrastructure, done
own — a voice call when something's worth saying, a message on my phone when right, for people who care about that.
I've been quiet too long. It learns my rhythm. It remembers things. It has a
personality that I actually designed, warm and a little playful.
Still in Phase 1. Still building the foundation. It takes the time it takes. **market-den** — personal algorithmic trading system, small starting capital,
leverage intentionally off until there's a proven edge. Slow and deliberate.
## Ideas (brewing)
- A more intentional infrastructure setup (clean, understandable, calm)
- Small tools that solve real problems without becoming complex
- Expanding hiddenden.cafe into something more alive and personal
## Learning Right Now ## Learning Right Now
- Azure, DevOps, and Microsoft ecosystem (on the job, fast) - Running Intune properly, in my own environment now
- Better Astro structure for long-term maintainability - Growing into DevOps and incident management on the job
- Cleaner Docker + nginx patterns for self-hosted services - Better documentation habits — writing things down before they live only in my head
- The business itself — how it works, how it thinks, who the people are - What sustainable self-hosting actually looks like long-term
## Focus Areas ## Focus Areas
- Showing up well, even when the situation is heavier than expected - Less carrying everything. More delegating what can be delegated.
- Privacy-first self-hosting with minimal external dependencies - Building things because I love building them, not as a way to avoid sitting still
- Building things that stay understandable and maintainable - Reaching out to people I care about, even when I have nothing left at the end of the day
- Sustainable progress — small steps instead of burnout cycles - Figuring out what I am actually worth, and eventually saying it out loud
## Outside of Tech ## Outside of Tech
Still healing after something meaningful ended a few months ago. Still healing. Slower than I expected, faster than it felt like at first.
Finding my footing again, slowly. Some days are clearer than others. Some things are clearer now. Some things are still unresolved and I am
There are also some unexpected things making the days feel lighter — learning to leave them that way for a while.
and I am trying not to overthink those either.
Writing more. The blog has become the place where I let myself be honest
about all of it.
## Next Check-in ## Next Check-in
I update this page every few weeks — or whenever something meaningfully shifts. I update this page every few weeks, or whenever something meaningfully shifts.